Sooner Than Later.

Starting today, I'll be revamping all my sites.....new layouts and all. Maybe then i'll start using them again.

Rebel For A Cause,

Authentik|Supa.Flai

And The Beat Goes On....

Im use to running from problems and dilemma's but this time...I will not give in. i refuse, i have to do better.

Rebel For A Cause,

Authentik|Supa.Flai

Can't Spell "families" without "lies".

It pains me to know that family has always been the very first to let me down. For so many years I've been trying to tell myself that some where in the world, maybe even next door, someone has even greater problems than me. But at the end of the night, when I reflect I can't help but to think the many jorneys I go thru during one day are definitly worse than my neighbor. I guess from young I've just been a miserable person. Always hoping to find that little bottle of hapiness and not succeding. Family is supposed to be where the heart is. Though mines is not. I love my family. I really do. But the more and more I continue to get hurt, lied to, taken advantage of, and belittled the more I question the true meaning of family. It hurts when I want to talk simply about my day and there's no one to hear my voice. It hurts to know that I can't go shopping or do mother/father and daughter activites with my parents without if not one, all of us arguing. It hurts that I don't receive support or motivation. It hurts when they use me so that they can get to where they want to be. Family never seems to amaze me. I know families haves their kinks and issues, but so much? I don't think so. If I had it my way, right this second, I'd just pack up and go. Far away. Where no one can reach me, or make me hurt anymore. I'm so sorry Ive been such a burden on so many members of my family lives. Now I think it's time I finally do what's best for me, and figure out this thing called life on my own. Afterall, all the advice and opinions I've been taking from people has gotten me no where but here. Alone and miserable.


Rebel For A Cause,
Authentik|Supa.flai

Reverse, Lets Do It Again.

The other day I was on the train coming home from school where I was standing across from these kids. All of a sudden I caught myself thinking about my childhood. How fun and free I felt when I had no major priorites. No stress nor worries. The good times. I miss beating the street lights before they came on at night. Playing jump rope with the girls, and watching the guys during summer tournaments. I guess now that my 21st finally came I'm realizing more and more how much of my childhood is so far gone. It's kind of depressing actually. Not kind of, a whole lot of depressing. I wish I could remember more of my childhood but I can't. It comes with old age I guess. Maybe if I could remember it more I wouldn't miss it as much now. But anyway, seeing these kids playing back and forth and picking on each other it really made me miss it. The childhood, innocence and peace. But hey nowadays Theres no more childhood only adulthood. No more innoncence only curiosity. And no more peace only wars. Ohhh adulthood is soo wack. Can I start over?

Rebel For A Cause,
Authentikflai|Supa.Flai

Say Ahh.

You know what this is...it's a celebration bitches! it's my birthday. :)

No plans
No money
No idea whats going to go down today.

but for some reason that's okay with me....im living..that's all i can ask for.



Rebel For A Cause,
AuthentikSupa.flai

We Team Theo Over Here.

Theophilus London for Complex Magazine...we're doing big things i see Mr.London. I can actually say i'm proud. :) All of my friends are getting their very much prolonged shine. :D. Cant wait to get mines.

Rebel For A Cause,

AuthentikSupa.Flai

Letter In My Notes.

I really wish I knew what it was that he wanted from me. The constant streams of tears and complaining are really getting on my nerve. I know for a fact though, once you go back and forth with a female it's granted you'll lose her. I only know this for a fact because for some reason deep down inside, I feel like he already lost me. He means the world to me, and I'd do anything for him. I just don't know how many ways to explain that to him. When you find out the one you care most about doesn't trust you...what's your next move? Do you stay in hopes that he'll come around and trust you later? Or do you leave because the trust is already gone? I definitly don't know my next move. Which is why I'm still here...with him dangling on this thin string hoping he pulls me back in before I snap. it pains me to know that I equally hurt him just as much as he has hurt me. Which may be why I'm trying so hard to make it work. But at the end of the day, were both young and selfish. So in all actuality THIS may never really work. But this whole relationship thing wasn't always cracked up to be what movies make em seem. It's meant to hurt and make you laugh all the same time. It's meant to help you grow. And I can honestly say that with him I've grown alot. Love is a powerful feeling and a he'll of emotions. Both things I'm never able to balance out. Maybe this relationship...all relationships just aren't for me. Maybe I AM the problem. Maybe I'm just reading to far into this as per usual. But I highly doubt it. I can't help how I feel about cerrtain situations. I can't help but put my self in dumbass situations. I just want to be able to give my all to someone, someone who's been in need of love they never had or lost. I want to be able to give my love to HIM. Maybe I'm rushing things, maybe I'm the actual reason why he's not happy. I wish I can make him happy and stay that way. I just want to be his companion and best friend. Why does that not seem possible right now, when I've been here so long and given him so much of me? Is that not what he wants from me also? Sometimes, maybe things ARE better left unsaid. Saves all the pain and hurt from hitting the very clear and evident surface. I need to reevalulate my life. Whether I include him or not. Regardless of how I may feel one day out of all the days we share together, I fuckin adore, love and cherish that man with every ounce of me. He's my world, and as I've been saying I'll do anything to make sure he's happy.


Rebel For A Cause,
Authentik|Supa.Flai